'Playing to Win' vs. 'Playing to Not Lose'.

As the Australian Open has been on over the last couple of weeks, I've found myself recalling conversations with friends over the years — watching the titanic battles of Nadal v Djokovic, Federer v Murray and many more. The fury and the power on court were fascinating; but more fascinating was the somewhat 'yo-yo' dynamic of the game. Momentum shifted set to set, game to game, second to second. And I remember a friend saying:

Their fear of losing is driving them more than their desire to win.

Let's unpack that comment.

• At first I always focused on the player who was losing. Observing them, I felt this player always seemed to step up more than the person who was ahead — the desire to not lose driving them back into a winning position.
• But once I shifted my attention to the player in the driving seat, I started to notice what was really going on.

The psychology of winning vs. avoiding loss

One explanation is the differing mindsets we fall into depending on our position. When we adopt a 'play to win' mindset, the behaviours we engage in are often:

• Risk taking
• Accepting that mistakes happen, and learning from them
• Moving towards performance, in line with our ultimate goals
• A person in a losing position has 'nothing to lose', so starts to engage in higher-risk behaviour — which brings a higher reward

On the other hand, adopting a 'play to not lose' mindset, we might observe the following:

• Risk aversion
• Being petrified of making mistakes — a need for perfection
• Running away from perceived threats
• In this state, people don't want to throw away a winning position, so they take fewer risks — preserving the lead and opting for a more defensive style (think 'parking the bus' in football). It's quite an interesting paradox.

I won't cover it in depth here, but you may notice this language is congruent with David Rock's (2008) SCARF model, which proposes we are always prone to five ego threats — to our Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness or Fairness — and that we can engage in behaviours that move us either towards or away from our ultimate goals. It helps explain what people may be running away from when they find themselves in a winning position: mainly a threat to status. "What if I lose?"

A badminton final, and five points I'll never forget

I remember, in my early days as a badminton player, reaching the U16s club championship final at just 14 years old. It meant everything to win that trophy. I found myself 20–17 up in the final — first to 21 the winner — with three match points to take the championship.

And I lost. 20–22. Five points in a row.

What happened? Looking back, it's simple: I changed my strategy. I started playing not to lose — trying desperately not to make a mistake. By the time my opponent had a match point, my head had already gone.

But there's good news here. That experience drove me. I dusted myself off, took a good hard look at myself, and came back to win that U16 title for the next two years running.

Some questions to reflect on

• What does this mean for team sport? (I'll be exploring this across a few articles over the coming weeks.)
• What might it mean in everyday life? What winning positions are you in right now that you need to capitalise on? What losing situations need some bravery, boldness and risk-taking to overcome?
• How have we adapted our mindsets after a huge period of change brought on by COVID-19? Challenge yourself: has your recent mindset leaned more towards 'playing to win', or 'playing to avoid losses'?

We can learn so much when we lose.
But only when we play to win.